As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, the dictatorial regime of Syria’s Assad family has come to an end, with rebel factions seizing control of the government and forcing now ex-President Bashar al-Assad to flee to Moscow like a little candy-ass. Earlier, we showed you his somewhat disappointing car collection (well, for a dictator) but I know most of you reading this have had only one burning question on your mind: how does this all affect the seemingly-abandoned Mercury Mariner at the former Syrian Embassy in Washington, DC?
It’s a question a child might ask, but not a childish question. Our own Lewin Day wrote about the Mariner back in July, after being tipped off by autojourno legend Doug Demuro, who posted about the crossover made by everyone’s favorite defunct Ford division.
This tweet, in fact:
Syria abandoned its embassy in Washington DC in 2014, during the Syrian civil war, and nobody has been back since. The whole place is now an overgrown mess.
They also abandoned this Mercury Mariner in the parking lot, and it hasn’t moved in a decade. I think of it often. pic.twitter.com/XfzmdJmWZY
— Doug DeMuro (@DougDeMuro) July 22, 2024
Lewin did a lot of digging into the Mariner’s story, determining that this one had to be a 2006 or earlier car, as it retains the original front fascia design, and he determined that it has, in fact, moved a bit over the last decade. But now that the government of Syria has fallen, how is the Mariner?
Happily, we have Autopian Reader-Operatives stationed all over the globe, and one of them is in DC, and cased the ex-embassy to report on the status of the Mariner. Photographs were taken, likely from a camera hidden inside a hoagie, or something. Our operative wishes to remain anonymous, but we give our thanks, regardless.
The good news is that the Mariner appears to be okay, at least for now:
The Mariner is in about the same state as before, really, as it has been since 2014 when the embassy closed, with a broken foglamp and a cracked sunroof. Based on the leaf buildup, I suspect that the Mariner may have been brushed off or moved somewhat recently, as that just looks like a few days to maybe a week’s worth of leaf litter. But, really, who knows?
A new flag has been attached to the fence of the embassy, likely referencing the change in management, but overall, the embassy still seems pretty abandoned.
No one canceled the newspaper subscription? Or are those free advertising circulars no one reads? This place is a wreck, which is a shame because it was once the home of America’s Portliest President, William Howard Taft, the president who apparently did not get stuck in a bathtub and for whom the Daihatsu Taft is not named.
So, at this moment, the Mariner seems to be holding up okay. Which brings up an interesting question: if this Mariner was in fact owned by the Assad government, should you steal it?
Now I’m not encouraging anyone to do anything illegal, but I think this is worth a bit of a thought-experiment: if the Mariner was property of the Syrian government, does that mean that it’s pretty much owner-less right now? If, let’s say, that gate were to pop open, giving you full and easy access to this Mariner, and if, somehow, the keys to that Mariner were just sitting there on the seat, and it would actually start and drive, who would care if you took it?
The Assad regime has bigger fish to fry, whale-sized fish (and yes I know they’re mammals and not fish, but the point stands) – they will not care if this Mariner is gone. Are there any crazy hardcore Mariner fans out there who can’t bear to see this poor political prisoner wasting away? Again, I can’t condone any criminal activity, but I’d be remiss in not at least asking these questions, right?
I think the only thing we do know for sure is that no matter what happens in the political world, somewhere there is a Mercury dealing with the consequences.
Updated: The Mystery Of The Mercury Mariner Stuck Inside Syria’s Abandoned Embassy In D.C.
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The post Assad Has Been Kicked Out Of Syria But How Is The Abandoned Mercury Mariner At The Syrian Embassy Doing? appeared first on The Autopian.
